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[pidge_out]

 


Hey, it's Pidge. Can't answer right now-- Rover quit it! --so leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.
Rover, what did I say--?!?!

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[spacebaloney]

[This tiny baby toddler fist of her has never done any damage to him and it certainly won't be doing any now, but Lance knows this is how Pidge shows her emotions. Violence is their love language, apparently.

Pidge can do a lot of bad things, but Lance loves her so much, can never see himself with any other gremlin but this one, that he'd forgive her. And now that he's sure she feels the same about him as he does her, that ring in his pocket seems to hold a lot more significance.

Running his fingers through her hair, Lance laughs because he isn't ready to let Pidge stop redirecting her anger.]

Before or after we have sex? Cause you know how sleepy bustin' a nut makes me, so I prefer after.

[He doesn't need to see it to know it's there. He can just feel it. One of those instinct things.]

[pidge_out]

[She's so stubborn and huffy right now, refusing to let go of her absolutely meaningless bit of anger. Because Lance is right; it's a good distraction from her own frustration at herself, and she's happy to jump on it. Even though the fingers in her hair are soothing as hell and it's so close to drawing all the bad energy right out of her.]

Before.

[She finally pulls back a little, just enough so she can level him with a playful glare.]

Right before the clothes come off for makeup sex. Forget the sleep part.

bringing this back from the dead. pun intended,

[spacebaloney]

[She's cute when she's stubborn and huffy and honestly, Lance wouldn't want her any other way. It's how he met her and how he'd like to keep her. Plus, when Pidge stops being stubborn and huffy, that probably means she's closing herself off and when they've come this far, that's the last thing Lance wants her to do towards him.]

Before? [He pulls back farther than she does, grossed out look on his face like he just caught a whiff of Pidge after she'd spent one too many days at her computer desk and none in the shower.] Wow, so you're gonna do my corpse? You kinky lil' shit. Emphasis on the lil'. by the way.

alksmalksma ilu

[pidge_out]

[That glare does not budge. It is cemented to her face for the time being, clearly unfazed by being accused of necrophilia. The banter is back on, after all. And despite the look she's put on she feels nothing but glee.]

Back to short jokes and kinkshaming, huh? I can do whatever I want with your body. Dead men don't get a say.

[spacebaloney]

Right, so when I come back to haunt you by hiding all your peanut butter cookies and rearranging your gadget shit to make sure that no matter what, you'll always be missing that one important screw, you'll have no one to blame but yourself.

[For those six last words, Lance decides that booping Pidge's nose with the tip of his finger punctuates his point nicely. Then he takes that same finger and just slightly, every so slightly, sticks it in one of her nostrils because what says love more than your man trying to dig for gold?

Or maybe less love and finding more ways to gross her out.]

[pidge_out]

[She almost sees it coming. His fingers are dangerous when Lance wants them to be, so as soon as he's booping her snoot her hackles rise up. In the end it does her absolutely no good; she's half a second behind and her raising her hand to stop him just ends up pushing his finger further into her nostril. At which point she flails back with an undignified snort, the sound of which surprises her so much she very nearly bursts out laughing.] L-Lance! [The way she barks out his name is meant to sound angrier than it does, tainted by the surprise that so wants to come out as laughter. All of which she tries to cover up by vigorously wiping at her nose. It's... not very effective.] Why-- You're so weird, I swear!

[spacebaloney]

[Pidge really needs to react faster than that. Though considering Lance is the youngest of of five, the fact he is speedy is borne from trying to get something off the dinner table before it's all gone and trying to run from his older brothers when they felt particularly trolly. That practice is serving him well today.]

Says the chick who wants to hump my dried up dick.[He peers at his finger and frowns, acting as if there's something really on the tip, then reaches out towards her.] C'mere. I gotta wipe my finger.

[Because he's certainly not using his expensive silk shirt as a handkerchief!]

[pidge_out]

[And Pidge is immediately backing the hell up, arms out in front of her to further keep Lance at bay.]

Nope. No no no, absolutely not.

[Except even as she refutes him her eyes are sparkling, playful and giddy and more than happy to be back to their usual banter. The smile keeps tugging at the corner of her lips, threatening to break the façade of annoyance that she's put up. But she's still about two seconds away from just turning tail and sprinting down the beach.]

You wipe on me and this date is over.

[spacebaloney]

It's your boogers! Why are you afraid of your own boogers?

[The box of candy has been lying on Lance's lap all this time, but now he shoves it aside to chase after his girlfriend, gross finger still pointed her way. Because, as everybody knows in this house, what belongs to you, sticks to you. That includes Pokemon and snot alike.]

And that's no threat. We live in the same house and that would make things awkward and you don't do awkward.

[Also he still has a plan residing in his pocket that Lance wants to put into motion, so yeah, he's hoping the date continues.]

[pidge_out]

It's the principal of the boogers! [As soon as Lance gets up, Pidge really starts to move. She really should at least head in the direction of wherever their actual destination is. And she would be... if she knew where exactly Lance was planning on taking her. For now, at least jumping off the porch and keeping herself out of Lance's long reach is more or less doable.] I could learn to do awkward! We can start right now. For every time you stick your finger in my nose, we lose a date! [It's absolutely an empty threat, though. Going out with Lance is fun, even when she has her own reservations about the plan going into it.]

[spacebaloney]

Yeah, and the principal of it is that they belong in your nose!

[It's good that she had no idea where he's taking her today because that gives Lance so many methods of getting her close enough to wipe his finger. For now, though, he gives into the stalking of his prey by following her off the porch and onto the sand that lives where a lawn would.]

Sounds fake. You love me too much to turn down a date with me. Besides, I'm too cure to reject and you know it.

[Big talk from a man who five minutes ago wasn't even sure Pidge even really liked him, much less loved him.]

Besides, you're going the wrong way for our date today.

[pidge_out]

Which is why you shouldn't be taking them out in the first place!

[She makes no comment either way on his next statement. He's right, but she doesn't have to admit that. So she will instead do the next best thing: threaten him.] I will taze you, Lance.

[It's an empty threat, but still. She feels a little better having said it.]

Where are you taking me? Is there some big party happening in the city or something?

[spacebaloney]

Well, let me put them back then! I'll just put the tip in and we'll go on our way!

[Fingertip, that is. Fingertip. Ahem.]

Taze me? [Lance waggles his eyebrows, knowing how empty the threat is, hand on pressed against his chest in the most dramatic fashion.] Ooh, kinky. And in public too? Stars above, Katie! I never knew you were into that!

[As for her question, the answer won't come that easily.]

If you come closer, I'll tell you.

[pidge_out]

Nope, you can wipe them off on your pants or flick them into the sand, but they do not go anywhere on me.

[There's a part of her that wants to smack those wiggling eyebrows clear off his face. But there's a bigger part of her that enjoys the playfulness in his eyes, and she has to fold her lips in to keep from laughing out loud. It's that energy and spark that she loves so much, and she can't help but play along.] That's totally one of your kinks, and I will absolutely expose you in public.

Tell me first, then I'll come closer. [She will not be fooled. And since the way she was going was wrong, she will just change direction until she maybe gets it right. Or, more likely, trips over something and falls right onto her ass in the sand.]

[spacebaloney]

But it's friends are still up your schnoz! Are you gonna be so mean and separate them?

[At this point it should be more than obvious that there's absolutely nothing on Lance's finger. Or anything visible, actually. But the point is that he just wants to gross her out purely for the troll factor and not that he needs to get rid of a rogue booger.]

Exactly, so how is it a threat? It's not gonna make me not do it.

[And to show how not afraid he is of her non-threat (especially since he knows very well that Pidge has no actual tazer), he takes two steps closer with big wide steps that are as long as his lanky legs. Still too far from her to kick him in the nads, though.]

And nope. You'll find out when you come over here. That's the rule. You come to the guy who knows the plan.

[pidge_out]

Hey, you're the one who separated them. Those consequences are for you to deal with! [Pidge is keeping the game up even though it's painfully obvious that Lance didn't actually get any of her boogers. Mainly because it's fun, and it's an excuse to tease and banter the way they like to do. She has to keep her features schooled, though. She refuses to give in.] You're right. I was counting on embarrassment doing you in, but I forgot that you're completely shameless. [And she keeps backing up, even though she has to take two quick steps for every one of Lance's. Curse those long legs of his!] I've never heard that rule. You share the plan, and everyone profits.

[spacebaloney]

And I'm trying to put them back together but you won't let me! You're the problem here!

[If they ever change from this stupid back and forth antic they always have, the relationship might as well be over, along with their friendship because then they wouldn't be Pidge and Lance. Start worrying when they stop being drama queens to each other.

Indeed he is shameless, but not too shameless to continue chasing after her because she's still headed in the wrong direction.]

So you're telling me you make Shiro come to you when he has a plan?

[Ah yes, throwing it back to ye olde Voltron days as ammunition.]

[pidge_out]

They're already dead once removed. It's too late! You killed it, now bury it somewhere else! [She'd change direction but she has seen no indication on whether or not this is the right way to be going. So she'll keep backing up this way, powering through even when she stumbles just slightly on her own feet. New shoes, you see. Clearly the only reason for clumsiness.] I don't have to, because he shares the plan outright. So tell me where we're going!

[spacebaloney]

Your nose can double as a graveyard!

[Well, considering the ferry to the mainland is on the other side of the island and on the mainland is where the carnival he has plans on taking her to is, Pidge is definitely heading wrong.]

I can tell you that you're still going the wrong way, but that's as much as I'm saying until you come closer. [He snorts, witnessing her trip on her own two feet. Lance definitely saw that and ain't no way in hell he's letting it slide.] Or you can bust your ass first, your choice, babe.

[pidge_out]

No way. The graveyard is full. [His words give her pause at least, and after a second she moves so that she's heading in a different direction. It may still not be the right one, but she's a little distracted by the way Lance teases her for that close call.] I'm not getting anywhere near you until I know you'll stop trying to wipe my own boogers on me. [Even though there haven't been any to begin with.] I had to dig deep to find these clothes, you know.

[spacebaloney]

Graveyards are never full. Just stack the bodies on top the other other bodies. Who's gonna complain? Dead men don't complain!

[Or dead boogers, but that's not the point here. The point is that Pidge moving away still in the wrong direction (to him, woman, the right direction is to him!) and Lance is concerned she'll stumble again. Well, not so much concerned about her stumbling and more like he would like her to trip and fall so he can rush over and grab her before she can get back on her feet so all this ends in an easy win for him. Lance might be a gentleman sometimes, but he can totally be an asshole too. A loving asshole.]

Eh, no one will notice a little of your snot on your shirt. At this point, we kind of expect it out of you when you deign to come out of the basement. [He smirks, knowing if she keeps walking where she is, Pidge will eventually read the shoreline and Lance knows she isn't the best at swimming.] Also, still wrong on the direction. You might as well just come to me and get this over with before a Voltorb takes you into the sea forever.

[pidge_out]

Me. I'm complaining. Hence I have closed the graveyard.

[Pidge makes a face at what Lance says next, halfway between "How dare you" and "That's kind of fair." Because she does feel both of those things at once, even if she won't say either of them out loud. Instead she spares a quick glance behind her, just to make sure that she's not about to walk into the surf.]

Or you could hurry up and tell me where-- [Aaaaand that's about when she does finally trip over her own feet-] GAHHKK!! [-and go tumbling into the sand, the lights on her shoes going wild.]

[spacebaloney]

You can't close booger graveyards. That's like against the rules or some shit.

[He really could just tell her where they're going tonight, but even if Lance wanted to, Pidge eating it on the sand pulls him up short and he's running towards her. Only he's not about to rescue her, no, no. He instead takes this moment to gloat and drags his entire hand across her shirt, making sure to get her good and grody.]

And there we go. Now wasn't that easier than fighting me?

[Lance knows Pidge will make him pay for his in some form later on, but right now, the risk is worth it.]

[pidge_out]

[Defeat tastes like horrible, nasty beach sand. She can't even say anything about Lance taking the opportunity to wipe imaginary boogers all over her shirt, because of course he did. Right now she has sand everywhere, and she knows she's going to be finding more of it all day which sucks because she really did try hard to dress like a human being that knows how clothes work. So she doesn't move right away. She just lays there, staring up at the sky, partially buried and groaning in complaint.]

I blame you for this. One hundred percent.

[spacebaloney]

Mmmhmm. I love you too, my little booger queen.

[With a pat to her shoulder, Lance shifts to sliding his hands under Pidge, helping her to sit up and then hopefully, onto her feet. She really looks a hot mess with grains of sand all over her, but at least he has the decency to start brushing off what he can reach.]

Blame me all you want, but we both know it was your own feet you tripped on.